Do you believe that everything that happens to you, no matter how inconvenient or painful it may be, happens for your own good? Most communication including our personal conversations, news on the internet, Sirius, and TV focuses on what is wrong and what is bad. These external messages reinforce an internal belief system in which everything gets categorized as good or bad, right or wrong.
One area of our thinking that can get particularly mired in polarized views is our thoughts about our past. Our past is an anchor until we decide to let go of our negative beliefs and memories of it. The events and relationships we wish we’d handled better; the people and situations that hurt us and let us down are frozen in time. Every day we grow and evolve, but our negative memories of the past stand still. As a result, for most people, our emotional selves stay much younger than our spiritual and intellectual selves.
Is it possible to change the way we think and feel about our past? Can we step outside of our present self and view our lives holistically rather than a string of separate positive and negative incidents?
Everytime a bad memory gives us a negative picture of ourselves, makes us feel sorry for ourselves, or see ourselves as victims, we are overlooking the good that was created from the experience – and there is always good. Perhaps we learned so much from the situation that we never allowed that behavior back into our lives. Maybe the event caused us to change our path. Even in the worst situation, with the most hurtful person, we develop new personality traits that are beneficial. Sometimes we need an obstacle to push against to create a new muscle or inner strength.
The more we hate something, or someone, the more solid our connection to it. When we appreciate (even love) our past for its contribution to where we are now, it can be released. By re-framing our negative memories of our childhood, our parents, our careers or our relationships into positive contributions to our path, we can move faster, and significantly lighter, into a new future.